St. Antonious and St. Mina Coptic Orthodox Church In East Rutherford, NJ
The Family and Handing Down of Faith
Paul the Apostle’s words to his disciple Timothy were very astonishing when he said, “I have am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also” (2 Tim 1: 5). Can faith be inherited?! The sincere faith existing in the son Timothy’s heart is the same faith which was dwelling in his mother Eunice’s heart and his grandmother Lois’. This is the faith that the family passes on to the children as a sacred heritage. Even though, faith does not transfer through generations mechanically, the effect of “passing on” and “Christian upbringing” is undeniable.
This is the main and essential function of the Christian family: “handing down faith”. We might pass on to our children a large earthly inheritance, which is acceptable, but the risk lies in the failure of conveying the faith once received from the saints to them. “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Matt 16:26).
So also Paul the Apostle emphasizes the role of parents in their children salvation – especially the mother’s role- when he said about her: “But women will be saved through childbearing–if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety” (1 Tim 2: 15). Therefore, her salvation depends on the manner in which she nurtures her children. Consequently, Saint Monica wept bitterly for her son Augustine’s perversity; feeling the seriousness of her responsibility before God for the fate of her son. And thus deserved the incitement of Saint Ambrose to her: “Trust daughter… The son of these tears will not perish!”
So what are the channels through which our children receive the faith?
1. Life of Worship:
This is the first and main channel through which our children receive faith. For praying standing in front of the icon of the Lord Christ or the Virgin carrying the Divine Child, no doubt, prints in the mind of the child an indelible impact. So he knows “Papa” Jesus and “Mama” the Virgin…. And thus, this attitude contributes -with baptism- to a new birth of the child from the Church’s womb.
The child who feels that the church at home is an extension of the church that he goes to with his family more than once a week, he himself will become a small church. In the future, his house will become a church too. We observe how the child turns the house into a church when he perseveres with his family to attend Divine Liturgy; how they imitate the psalmist, the deacon and the priest when he walks around with the censer or sprinkles water on people.
How awesome when a child becomes “apsaltus” and a youth becomes “agnesttus” in the house of God! For the fingerprints of the altar on his life will not be erased ever. As the saints say: “He who is away from the altar is deprived of the bread of God”.
How wonderful to play “the stereo” at home most of the day; spreading an atmosphere of praise, hymns, masses and sermons. How awesome when “the video player” turns to constructive religious movies.
2. Christian Education:
Christian education is a second channel for handing down faith; “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ” (Rom 10: 17). Here, we should revive the grandparent’s role when they tell stories from the Holy Bible to their grandchildren; from creation, Babylon, the flood, the tribes….to the birth of the Christ in the flesh, His Crucifixion, His Resurrection, His Ascension, and the establishment of the church. The parents are busier than the grandparents, but the attention given to the stories of the Bible and the work of God’s words are two important elements in raising children. Moreover, many parents become experts in the Holy Bible when they start telling some of the stories to their children. It is a magnificent blessing to all generations, for the Bible is the best school and constitution.
Also, the parents’ interest in their children attendance in Sunday school, liturgies and participation in the sacraments…..all are means to add to the faith-related and educational resources of the generations to come.
3. Peace within the Family:
“There is no peace,” says the Lord, “for the wicked.” (Isaiah 48:22). This is a fact; for it is impossible for spouses distant from God, each one enclosed in ego or pleasures, to live in peace. On the other hand, a couple fastened to the Lord, who believe in the divine
intervention in all problems and His wise leadership of the family, are in true peace. This peace
-fruit of their faith- is noticeable, loved by their children and an essential channel through which the children receive the spirit of Christ, His mindset, His meekness.
I will never forget when I was visiting a blessed Christian family, a kinswoman came in complaining about her husband emotionally with tears and loud voice which disturbed the tranquil atmosphere of the family. So that a little girl coiled up in the lap of the housewife -her mother- and said to her: “Mom…make this lady leave from here”. Yes… Because she was not used to the hostility of contentions, but to the calmness of love.
4. The Disposition in Situations
There is no doubt that a Christian family with sincere faith easily transfers this faith to the children through their behavior in different situations. They are a loving family who loves everyone honestly and without hypocrisy…and the kids notice and absorb that. They are a wise family who deals with problems with serenity and do not descend to quarrels and disputes which are not of the Spirit of God. They are a serving family who provides service to everyone around with felicity in the joy of giving. Also, they are a family committed to the principles of Christ; “They will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear their voice in the streets” (Review Matthew 12:19). Rather, they behave according to the commandments of the Lord, his love and his mindset.
How great is the destruction that affects the children because of the parents’ disagreements, whether inside or outside the family! How enormous is the responsibility placed on parents in raising their children; a righteous upbringing!
5. The Family Library:
It is acceptable that the family library includes daily newspapers or general magazines that are appropriate for kids and youth. However, it is exceptionally essential for parents to set up a small library for the children suitable based on their age. What is more available than the Christian publications nowadays; including biblical stories, hagiographies, explanation of the Liturgical rituals or youth books which is suitable for this stage.
Moreover, the family library must include the Holy Scriptures and their exegetical books which stimulate the minds of the young people and load it with holy thoughts, leaving no opportunity for evil ones. As one of the saints once said: “reading rectifies the wandering mind”. Therefore, we must focus on the role of books in the children’s lives, especially after TV weakened people’s ability to read. As they park in front of it captivated and absorbing some good programs, but mostly negative ones.
6. Educational Trips:
Visiting monasteries, Coptic museums and exchange of visits with the churches inside or outside the region are all educational means that absorbed by child, toddler and youth. As they meet with monks who renounced the world, priests who present them with the mindset of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit, or brothers and sisters who walk with them on the same road; the road of the heavenly kingdom. And thus, the young man grows in spirit fastened to God, in character cheerfully in the congregation, in mind developing in knowledge and in body athletic and sportive. And he will have an integrated personality that does not stand out in one aspect and yet is weak in another. Yet, the growth would be proportionate in all angles.
These are some of the channels that could be used by the family in the delivery of faith to the children…to increase the number of the kingdom’s children and to save them from the judgment of the last day. May the Lord bless the lives of all for the glory of His name.